Here's my list of Madden Curse hopefuls:
Al Davis: The Raiders are horrible and Al Davis has been sucking from the unholy teat of inexplicable undeath for far too long. If the Madden Curse can keep the Raiders horrible or somehow cause Al Davis' death... YES.Peyton Manning: This beloved commercial star and superior quarterback graced the cover of every OTHER football video game except Madden, and all he's had is success (well, in the regular season). I'm sure plenty of people would love to see him carted off in a gurney or throwing 30 INTs in a season. I don't really care either way, but it seems like it needs to happen.
Terrell Owens: He's thrown so many teammates, teams and coaches under the bus over the years. Physical injury is too predictable, and Kobe proved that the rape allegation doesn't have the same power it used to. How about a cocaine habit coming to light? He's in Dallas; after all, Michael Irvin experienced problems with coke and he's still not in the Hall of Fame. It seems fitting, so coke it is. Madden Curse, please make this happen.
The East Coast Bias: If we can shove all the New York and Boston athletes onto one cover, not so that each of them will be individually cursed but so that collectively they will receive less attention--even just for one year--the rest of the nation would be grateful. Tom Brady, Derek Jeter, David Ortiz, Tiki Barber, Eli Manning--these are all great athletes, but I'm tired of hearing about them and their teams.Golf: Since I've already deviated (briefly?) from people who might actually make the Madden cover, let's go ahead and throw golf in there. It's boring, it excludes those who can't afford it, and it only features one true athlete: Tiger Woods. I do love that the one true athlete dominates all the pudgy players, but that does that mean we should keep golf? It's like keeping the XFL just because we love the mysterious player name "He Hate Me." Slap golf on the Madden cover, insert Tiger into a different sport, and let's be done with the whole thing.
Tom Cruise: This guy is nuts, we all know he's nuts, yet people still follow his every move and pay way too much to see his movies. Put Cruise on the Madden cover so we can expose the ultimate dirty secret that will lead to his imprisonment, banishment or murder spree (although let's hope he doesn't actually murder anybody so much as just try really hard and make a fool of himself).
Steve Smith: This move I actually favor for the opposite reason: Smith is the kind of guy that gets fired up in the face of adversity. Give him a Madden cover and he will fight the curse with vigor. The chip on his shoulder will carry him and the Panthers to an undefeated season and a Super Bowl victory. I'm not a Panthers fan by any means, but I would love to see Steve Smith as that kind of force, and I would really love someone besides the Dolphins having an undefeated season.
Players who have seemingly already been hit by the Madden Curse:
Randy Moss: Exiled to Raiders hell. Does he deserve it? Probably. Still, it's a drag to be hit by the Madden Curse without the actual thrill of being on the cover of the game.
Houston Texans: 'nuff said.
Priest Holmes: If there was any player who deserved to make the Madden cover, it's Priest Holmes. Now he may never return at all, much less to his former NFL glory.
Jamal Lewis: The Anti-Holmes in many respects, this guy got what he deserved. First, he racked up a 2,000+ yard season, and everyone thought that he was IT. Did everyone ignore the fact he racked up 600+ yards in two games against an atrocious Cleveland Browns team? His 2,000 yard season tarnished Terrell Davis's similar record AND reaffirmed what the pundits like to repeat from time to time: O.J. Simpson, the first 2,000 yard rusher, did it in just 14 games. Anytime you can contribute to making O.J. Simpson look better, you need to contemplate your actions and reconsider your direction in life. Of course, Jamal Lewis went to prison for his role in a cocaine deal, and hasn't been the same since. [Insert random prison/sexual orientation joke here.]
If you're not familiar with the Madden Curse, read up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madden_NFL#The_.22Madden_Curse.22
Post your suggestions!
