The Year of Lucy
5 years ago
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Monday, October 2, 2006
Farewell to Gonzo
On Sunday, October 1, 2006, Luis "Gonzo" Gonzalez played his final baseball game as an Arizona Diamondback. The club informed Gonzo and the media nearly a month ago that it would not exercise it's option to retain Gonzo for another year. The Diamondbacks claim they are going for a "youth movement," but I think they meant to say "bowel movement."
Gonzo's Skills Have Declined, But...
Luis Gonzalez is not the player he used to be. At 39 years old, he has come a long way since his 2001 season when he hit 57 home runs, won the Home Run Derby, and scored the winning hit in the 2001 World Series that ended the Yankee dynasty (from which they have still not recovered). Having said all this, letting Gonzo go was not the right move, especially for a new front office that has no fan support.
In addition to sending Gonzo packing, the club axed Craig Counsell and Miguel Batista, the last three players left from the 2001 World Series team (Bob Melvin and Jay Bell remain as manager and bench coach, respectively). Of course, both Batista and Counsell have left the team before but were called back to Arizona. Counsell is currently in the Top Five Diamondbacks of All Time list (that's not an official list, but just ask any Diamondbacks fan), but it is his time to go with the early emergence of Stephen Drew at shortstop. Miguel Batista has never been a dominant pitcher, but he also hasn't declined since 2001 either. On top of being one of the nicest guys in baseball--the nicest according to Sports Illustrated, who bestowed him that honor after learning of his extensive charity work--Batista is a solid third or fourth starter that can still contribute on a young team. Batista could and should stay, but the front office has other things in mind.
The New Front Office Ditches Purple and Colangelo
Starting next season, the Diamondbacks will play in red and brown instead of their original purple, copper and teal. This is another new choice by the Diamondbacks front office, and a choice that remains wildly unpopular with the fanbase. The color change--along with the personnel change--is one more step in the new direction of the new Diamondbacks front office: as far away from Jerry Colangelo as possible.
Colangelo brought sports to the Valley with the Phoenix Suns. Since then, he brought us the Coyotes, Rattlers and Diamondbacks. Over the years, Colangelo assembled winning teams and never assembled lackluster rosters like another Arizona franchise I know. Colangelo brought Arizona it's first and only professional sports championship with the 2001 World Series victory. But for some reason, the Diamondbacks hotshots shoved Colangelo out the back door. That "reason" is probably along the lines of greed and glory, but that doesn't give anyone the excuse to kick your founding father in the teeth. Whoever these dimwits are--I don't know their names, because they're not important--they seem to fancy themselves as Stalin to Colangelo's Trotsky, only Mexico is a lot closer to Arizona than it is to Mother Russia.
What does all of this have to do with Gonzo's final game?
After the game, the new president of the Diamondbacks--again, I don't know his name--hosted a "Farewell to Gonzo and Counsell" ceremony. The whole affair was bittersweet: here we are saying goodbye to two of the greatest Diamondbacks in the club's short history, and we're totally ignoring the fact that the two still want to play, and still want to play for this team. We're totally ignoring the fact that the person responsible for them leaving at all is standing right next to them, pretending to be their friend, even offering them their own replica of the World Series trophy as belated hush money to atone for his sins. He gave those same trophies to Jerry Colangelo, former general manager Joe Garagiola, Jr., and outgoing Diamondbacks president Rich Dozer. These five men stood together, fully knowledgeable of the snow job the new guy was putting on, but so calloused against the new management that they hardly cared about the farcical display.
Gonzo momentarily addressed the crowd in a farewell address, but his words rang hollow: his heart wasn't in it. He was too honest to lie, and too honorable to bash the organization that shut the door in his face. When you can't lie and you can't tell the truth, you're left with nothing.
The fans who stayed around for Gonzo's farewell enjoyed their last opportunity to see him as a Diamondback, but it was unfulfilling because every fan knew that it didn't have to be this way. Yet, Gonzo deserved for his fans to support him, so we stayed to show him that support, with tearful eyes of loss and bitterness for the new organization instead of tears of joy and nostalgia for the tremendous gifts Gonzo gave Arizona with athletic play and community leadership.
Gonzo's Skills Have Declined, But...
Luis Gonzalez is not the player he used to be. At 39 years old, he has come a long way since his 2001 season when he hit 57 home runs, won the Home Run Derby, and scored the winning hit in the 2001 World Series that ended the Yankee dynasty (from which they have still not recovered). Having said all this, letting Gonzo go was not the right move, especially for a new front office that has no fan support.
In addition to sending Gonzo packing, the club axed Craig Counsell and Miguel Batista, the last three players left from the 2001 World Series team (Bob Melvin and Jay Bell remain as manager and bench coach, respectively). Of course, both Batista and Counsell have left the team before but were called back to Arizona. Counsell is currently in the Top Five Diamondbacks of All Time list (that's not an official list, but just ask any Diamondbacks fan), but it is his time to go with the early emergence of Stephen Drew at shortstop. Miguel Batista has never been a dominant pitcher, but he also hasn't declined since 2001 either. On top of being one of the nicest guys in baseball--the nicest according to Sports Illustrated, who bestowed him that honor after learning of his extensive charity work--Batista is a solid third or fourth starter that can still contribute on a young team. Batista could and should stay, but the front office has other things in mind.
The New Front Office Ditches Purple and Colangelo
Starting next season, the Diamondbacks will play in red and brown instead of their original purple, copper and teal. This is another new choice by the Diamondbacks front office, and a choice that remains wildly unpopular with the fanbase. The color change--along with the personnel change--is one more step in the new direction of the new Diamondbacks front office: as far away from Jerry Colangelo as possible.
Colangelo brought sports to the Valley with the Phoenix Suns. Since then, he brought us the Coyotes, Rattlers and Diamondbacks. Over the years, Colangelo assembled winning teams and never assembled lackluster rosters like another Arizona franchise I know. Colangelo brought Arizona it's first and only professional sports championship with the 2001 World Series victory. But for some reason, the Diamondbacks hotshots shoved Colangelo out the back door. That "reason" is probably along the lines of greed and glory, but that doesn't give anyone the excuse to kick your founding father in the teeth. Whoever these dimwits are--I don't know their names, because they're not important--they seem to fancy themselves as Stalin to Colangelo's Trotsky, only Mexico is a lot closer to Arizona than it is to Mother Russia.
What does all of this have to do with Gonzo's final game?
After the game, the new president of the Diamondbacks--again, I don't know his name--hosted a "Farewell to Gonzo and Counsell" ceremony. The whole affair was bittersweet: here we are saying goodbye to two of the greatest Diamondbacks in the club's short history, and we're totally ignoring the fact that the two still want to play, and still want to play for this team. We're totally ignoring the fact that the person responsible for them leaving at all is standing right next to them, pretending to be their friend, even offering them their own replica of the World Series trophy as belated hush money to atone for his sins. He gave those same trophies to Jerry Colangelo, former general manager Joe Garagiola, Jr., and outgoing Diamondbacks president Rich Dozer. These five men stood together, fully knowledgeable of the snow job the new guy was putting on, but so calloused against the new management that they hardly cared about the farcical display.
Gonzo momentarily addressed the crowd in a farewell address, but his words rang hollow: his heart wasn't in it. He was too honest to lie, and too honorable to bash the organization that shut the door in his face. When you can't lie and you can't tell the truth, you're left with nothing.
The fans who stayed around for Gonzo's farewell enjoyed their last opportunity to see him as a Diamondback, but it was unfulfilling because every fan knew that it didn't have to be this way. Yet, Gonzo deserved for his fans to support him, so we stayed to show him that support, with tearful eyes of loss and bitterness for the new organization instead of tears of joy and nostalgia for the tremendous gifts Gonzo gave Arizona with athletic play and community leadership.
State of the Gamer: Battlefield 2
So I finally get into the 21st century by dropping one of my text-based Internet games (too involving for a text game) and picking up a copy of Battlefield 2. I like to wait for the first price cut or a sale before buying a game, and it only took about 18 months for BF2 to go for less than $50. Needless to say, I'm a bit behind the current wave, but I'm enjoying the game nonetheless.
Battlefield 2 is a first-person shooter (FPS) with a modern warfare theme. The object is to make the opponent lose all his "tickets." To accomplish this, players interact as a team to take over capture points (flags) and, of course, kill each other.
My favorite role is the medic, who predictably is armed with med packs he can distribute to his teammates for points. The medic is also armed with a defibrillator, used to bring fallen teammates back from the dead! Since I did extensive work with defibrillators (read: changed their batteries) when I worked for the American Red Cross, I rightly assumed the role of medic would suit me perfectly.
The game keeps track of your stats, so you can brag to all the 15-year-olds how "1337" you are and how much you "pwnzor" with the "noob tube." I don't do any of that, mostly because I am not "1337" (or "elite," for those who read English and not morontype). Above are my stats in the form of a forum signature. Some of those stats must be broken; most significantly, kill streak. I've barely killed 20 people in one round (to win my silver Veteran Medic Combat Badge), and I died at least 10 times in that run. So where did I get 30?Not like I'm going to have them fix this glitch anytime soon, though. It's my only potential link to "1337ness".
Battlefield 2 is a lot of fun and it holds my attention. That's all I ask for, really.
Battlefield 2 is a first-person shooter (FPS) with a modern warfare theme. The object is to make the opponent lose all his "tickets." To accomplish this, players interact as a team to take over capture points (flags) and, of course, kill each other.
My favorite role is the medic, who predictably is armed with med packs he can distribute to his teammates for points. The medic is also armed with a defibrillator, used to bring fallen teammates back from the dead! Since I did extensive work with defibrillators (read: changed their batteries) when I worked for the American Red Cross, I rightly assumed the role of medic would suit me perfectly.
The game keeps track of your stats, so you can brag to all the 15-year-olds how "1337" you are and how much you "pwnzor" with the "noob tube." I don't do any of that, mostly because I am not "1337" (or "elite," for those who read English and not morontype). Above are my stats in the form of a forum signature. Some of those stats must be broken; most significantly, kill streak. I've barely killed 20 people in one round (to win my silver Veteran Medic Combat Badge), and I died at least 10 times in that run. So where did I get 30?
Battlefield 2 is a lot of fun and it holds my attention. That's all I ask for, really.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
The Madden Curse: Who's Next?
Now that Shaun Alexander's broken foot reaffirmed the power of the Madden Curse, I feel it's our duty as sports fans and concerned world citizens to come up with the next Madden cover person. We have almost a year to figure this out, but it never hurts to start thinking of candidates, especially since there is no current device to "elect" the next Madden Curse victim.
Here's my list of Madden Curse hopefuls:
Al Davis: The Raiders are horrible and Al Davis has been sucking from the unholy teat of inexplicable undeath for far too long. If the Madden Curse can keep the Raiders horrible or somehow cause Al Davis' death... YES.
Peyton Manning: This beloved commercial star and superior quarterback graced the cover of every OTHER football video game except Madden, and all he's had is success (well, in the regular season). I'm sure plenty of people would love to see him carted off in a gurney or throwing 30 INTs in a season. I don't really care either way, but it seems like it needs to happen.
Terrell Owens: He's thrown so many teammates, teams and coaches under the bus over the years. Physical injury is too predictable, and Kobe proved that the rape allegation doesn't have the same power it used to. How about a cocaine habit coming to light? He's in Dallas; after all, Michael Irvin experienced problems with coke and he's still not in the Hall of Fame. It seems fitting, so coke it is. Madden Curse, please make this happen.
The East Coast Bias: If we can shove all the New York and Boston athletes onto one cover, not so that each of them will be individually cursed but so that collectively they will receive less attention--even just for one year--the rest of the nation would be grateful. Tom Brady, Derek Jeter, David Ortiz, Tiki Barber, Eli Manning--these are all great athletes, but I'm tired of hearing about them and their teams.
Golf: Since I've already deviated (briefly?) from people who might actually make the Madden cover, let's go ahead and throw golf in there. It's boring, it excludes those who can't afford it, and it only features one true athlete: Tiger Woods. I do love that the one true athlete dominates all the pudgy players, but that does that mean we should keep golf? It's like keeping the XFL just because we love the mysterious player name "He Hate Me." Slap golf on the Madden cover, insert Tiger into a different sport, and let's be done with the whole thing.
Tom Cruise: This guy is nuts, we all know he's nuts, yet people still follow his every move and pay way too much to see his movies. Put Cruise on the Madden cover so we can expose the ultimate dirty secret that will lead to his imprisonment, banishment or murder spree (although let's hope he doesn't actually murder anybody so much as just try really hard and make a fool of himself).
Steve Smith: This move I actually favor for the opposite reason: Smith is the kind of guy that gets fired up in the face of adversity. Give him a Madden cover and he will fight the curse with vigor. The chip on his shoulder will carry him and the Panthers to an undefeated season and a Super Bowl victory. I'm not a Panthers fan by any means, but I would love to see Steve Smith as that kind of force, and I would really love someone besides the Dolphins having an undefeated season.
Players who have seemingly already been hit by the Madden Curse:
Randy Moss: Exiled to Raiders hell. Does he deserve it? Probably. Still, it's a drag to be hit by the Madden Curse without the actual thrill of being on the cover of the game.
Houston Texans: 'nuff said.
Priest Holmes: If there was any player who deserved to make the Madden cover, it's Priest Holmes. Now he may never return at all, much less to his former NFL glory.
Jamal Lewis: The Anti-Holmes in many respects, this guy got what he deserved. First, he racked up a 2,000+ yard season, and everyone thought that he was IT. Did everyone ignore the fact he racked up 600+ yards in two games against an atrocious Cleveland Browns team? His 2,000 yard season tarnished Terrell Davis's similar record AND reaffirmed what the pundits like to repeat from time to time: O.J. Simpson, the first 2,000 yard rusher, did it in just 14 games. Anytime you can contribute to making O.J. Simpson look better, you need to contemplate your actions and reconsider your direction in life. Of course, Jamal Lewis went to prison for his role in a cocaine deal, and hasn't been the same since. [Insert random prison/sexual orientation joke here.]
If you're not familiar with the Madden Curse, read up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madden_NFL#The_.22Madden_Curse.22
Post your suggestions!
Here's my list of Madden Curse hopefuls:
Al Davis: The Raiders are horrible and Al Davis has been sucking from the unholy teat of inexplicable undeath for far too long. If the Madden Curse can keep the Raiders horrible or somehow cause Al Davis' death... YES.Peyton Manning: This beloved commercial star and superior quarterback graced the cover of every OTHER football video game except Madden, and all he's had is success (well, in the regular season). I'm sure plenty of people would love to see him carted off in a gurney or throwing 30 INTs in a season. I don't really care either way, but it seems like it needs to happen.
Terrell Owens: He's thrown so many teammates, teams and coaches under the bus over the years. Physical injury is too predictable, and Kobe proved that the rape allegation doesn't have the same power it used to. How about a cocaine habit coming to light? He's in Dallas; after all, Michael Irvin experienced problems with coke and he's still not in the Hall of Fame. It seems fitting, so coke it is. Madden Curse, please make this happen.
The East Coast Bias: If we can shove all the New York and Boston athletes onto one cover, not so that each of them will be individually cursed but so that collectively they will receive less attention--even just for one year--the rest of the nation would be grateful. Tom Brady, Derek Jeter, David Ortiz, Tiki Barber, Eli Manning--these are all great athletes, but I'm tired of hearing about them and their teams.Golf: Since I've already deviated (briefly?) from people who might actually make the Madden cover, let's go ahead and throw golf in there. It's boring, it excludes those who can't afford it, and it only features one true athlete: Tiger Woods. I do love that the one true athlete dominates all the pudgy players, but that does that mean we should keep golf? It's like keeping the XFL just because we love the mysterious player name "He Hate Me." Slap golf on the Madden cover, insert Tiger into a different sport, and let's be done with the whole thing.
Tom Cruise: This guy is nuts, we all know he's nuts, yet people still follow his every move and pay way too much to see his movies. Put Cruise on the Madden cover so we can expose the ultimate dirty secret that will lead to his imprisonment, banishment or murder spree (although let's hope he doesn't actually murder anybody so much as just try really hard and make a fool of himself).
Steve Smith: This move I actually favor for the opposite reason: Smith is the kind of guy that gets fired up in the face of adversity. Give him a Madden cover and he will fight the curse with vigor. The chip on his shoulder will carry him and the Panthers to an undefeated season and a Super Bowl victory. I'm not a Panthers fan by any means, but I would love to see Steve Smith as that kind of force, and I would really love someone besides the Dolphins having an undefeated season.
Players who have seemingly already been hit by the Madden Curse:
Randy Moss: Exiled to Raiders hell. Does he deserve it? Probably. Still, it's a drag to be hit by the Madden Curse without the actual thrill of being on the cover of the game.
Houston Texans: 'nuff said.
Priest Holmes: If there was any player who deserved to make the Madden cover, it's Priest Holmes. Now he may never return at all, much less to his former NFL glory.
Jamal Lewis: The Anti-Holmes in many respects, this guy got what he deserved. First, he racked up a 2,000+ yard season, and everyone thought that he was IT. Did everyone ignore the fact he racked up 600+ yards in two games against an atrocious Cleveland Browns team? His 2,000 yard season tarnished Terrell Davis's similar record AND reaffirmed what the pundits like to repeat from time to time: O.J. Simpson, the first 2,000 yard rusher, did it in just 14 games. Anytime you can contribute to making O.J. Simpson look better, you need to contemplate your actions and reconsider your direction in life. Of course, Jamal Lewis went to prison for his role in a cocaine deal, and hasn't been the same since. [Insert random prison/sexual orientation joke here.]
If you're not familiar with the Madden Curse, read up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madden_NFL#The_.22Madden_Curse.22
Post your suggestions!
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
Law and Video Games
The correct answer to the most important things in my life are God, my wife, my family and my friends, in that order.
The next two foci, however, are law and video games, and those two compete for time and importance on a daily basis.
Usually, the law wins out, by virtue of the time requirement and the costly investment made towards my education. However, when the law becomes too tedious, I must "win" at something else to restore some confidence and learn to approach the problem in new ways. When that happens, I turn to video games for a quick ego boost. Right now, I'm playing two internet TEXT-BASED games (not totally unlike "Thy Dungeonman" but with other foolish "real-life" souls involved to bask in our collaborative desperation) and a GameBoy Advance game (Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones).
The point in telling you all this: most of these posts will be about the law or video games (or both). If you want warm fuzzy things, maybe my wife will make one of these and I'll link to her page.
The next two foci, however, are law and video games, and those two compete for time and importance on a daily basis.
Usually, the law wins out, by virtue of the time requirement and the costly investment made towards my education. However, when the law becomes too tedious, I must "win" at something else to restore some confidence and learn to approach the problem in new ways. When that happens, I turn to video games for a quick ego boost. Right now, I'm playing two internet TEXT-BASED games (not totally unlike "Thy Dungeonman" but with other foolish "real-life" souls involved to bask in our collaborative desperation) and a GameBoy Advance game (Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones).
The point in telling you all this: most of these posts will be about the law or video games (or both). If you want warm fuzzy things, maybe my wife will make one of these and I'll link to her page.
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