Saturday, September 6, 2008

I Am The Swing Vote

Let me drop some knowledge on the collective bums owned by hardcore Dems and GOPers: your blanket trashing of each others sides do not convince the voters you need to support your cause.

I'm not talking about the candidates. I haven't heard a whole lot of what they have to say, if for no other reason that the most vocal propagandists are shouting so loudly that I'd rather read about the new, cheap XBox 360 and figure out how that candidate stacks up to my long-time frontrunner Nintendo Wii.

No, this call is to the idiots in charge of the campaigns, and the loudest supporters blinded by the light of their candidate that they have no litmus test for how to speak to someone outside of their party--or worse, to someone unaffiliated with a party.

Um, I don't care how loud you shout that Sarah Palin is a liar, or a bordello madam, or any of the other monickers you want to throw on her. Because they're all a bunch of liars and ne'er-do-wells, not because they're politicians, but because they're PEOPLE. Shut up and give me something useful with which to make this weighty decision.

Nor do I care about generalizations about Reaganomics. Clearly one side thinks they work and the other says it doesn't work. Truth be told? Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. If that's not the case, show me definitive numbers (that I can understand, because I'm not an economist) to prove the outcome one way or the other.

Maybe the information is out there to prove definitively that Palin is unfit for office or that there is one, true functioning standard for who to pass the money to, only I can't hear it or see it over the din of overzealous extremists trying to scratch each other's eyes out. Do us all a favor and lobby for the people who can help you achieve those goals--swing voters like me. Otherwise, I'll make the decision based on what sounds better (Obama/Biden doesn't look too different from Osama Bin Laden), what my wife wants me to do, or old loyalties based on my lifelong residence.

Shut up and get to work.

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